Dear Future Husband,

Hello, brave soul. You are well aware of everything I am about to tell you but I just want to remind you what you are getting yourself into. I do not have a filter, meaning, my thoughts in my head, usually come out of my mouth or what I am thinking is written all over my face. But what I can promise you that I will only have a filter at work events and family functions. All the other times, I can’t promise you anything. I will sometimes, actually most of the time, burst out in song and dance. These moments can happen at anytime, any day, anywhere. There are a couples things you can do in these moments: walk away from me, stand there and act like you don’t know me but I will make more of a scene that involves you, and the best thing you can do is just laugh with me. I will sometimes make up words. This has been happening since I was little, for proof, just ask my mom. I laugh when I am uncomfortable, I ask random questions, and don’t ever let me take shots of straight vodka. I will have what my family likes to call “McNary moments.” These moments may include cussing, yelling, and me continuing to talk about the issue that has gotten me so mad for at least an hour. Now, you may be the reason why I am having a “McNary moment” and you may not, but just so you are aware my mom and Uncle John have created a support group. Just keep their phone numbers in you’re cell for emergency purposes. All you have to say is “I need back up. McNary moment is currently taking place.” They will talk you through it and will aid you with support. These moments will probably happen at least 2 or 3 times a year, so please be aware. My friends are my family; my little cousin (who is 5 years old) thinks I am his age because I get on his level, the meaning behind this is that I am young at heart; I will talk you’re ear off about work and will sometimes wake up on Saturday mornings thinking it’s a work day. Just tell me to stop running to the shower and to get back in bed. I am clumsy, I can be stubborn, and I think I can cook and bake but have had many “mishaps” in the kitchen. So if I ever cook or bake you anything, please just swallow it and tell me it’s disgusting. Now that everything is said and done and you do not want to be my future husband, which is fine; just remember I work with gang members.


XOXO,

Your Future Wife